When I first stepped into a management role, I was buzzing with excitement while also quietly terrified. I’d spent years mastering my own work, but now I was responsible for a team, their results, and somehow keeping my boss happy too. It felt like I’d been handed a puzzle with no picture and no instruction manual. Over time, through trial, error, and a lot of late-night reflection, I’ve pieced together what works for me. Four lessons stand out: embracing servant leadership, wrestling with imposter syndrome, juggling my team’s needs with my boss’s expectations, and carving out time to grow so I’m ready for what’s next. Here’s my story and a guide I wish I’d had when I started.
Embrace Servant Leadership: My Team Comes First
I used to think leadership meant being the one with all the answers. Then I became a manager and realized I had it backwards. For me, it’s about servant leadership, putting my team’s needs first so they can shine. It’s not about coddling them; it’s about unlocking what they’re capable of.
Early on, I had a team member who was drowning in a project. My instinct was to jump in and fix it, but instead, I asked, “What do you need from me right now?” They hesitated, then admitted they weren’t sure how to prioritize their tasks. We sat down and mapped out the week, and I showed them a trick I’d learned for breaking big goals into bites. They took it from there and crushed it. That moment stuck with me; my job isn’t to lead by commanding; it’s to lead by serving.
I’ve made it a habit to check in with my team one-on-one, not just about deadlines but about them, what’s firing them up and what’s dragging them down. I’ve also learned to spot roadblocks before they derail us, whether it’s chasing down a missing resource or clarifying a vague directive from above. And when they nail something? I shout it from the rooftops. Seeing them grow and develop keeps me going. If you’re new to this, try it: ask your team what they need, clear their path, and celebrate them. It’s how trust and results get built.
Silence Imposter Syndrome: My Fight with Self-Doubt
Can I confess something? My first month as a manager, I was convinced I’d be found out. “They’ll see I’m making this up as I go,” I’d think, staring at my laptop late at night. Imposter syndrome hit me hard, and I bet it’s hit you too. It’s that voice whispering you don’t belong in the big chair. Here’s how I’ve learned to quiet it.
First, I stopped pretending I had to be flawless. That doubt? It’s not a flaw. it’s proof that I truly care. So, I leaned into what I could control. I spent my early days getting to know my team, learning who’s the creative spark, who’s the detail guru, and who’s the workhorse. I pored over our goals until I could explain them in my sleep. Small wins started piling up, and with them, a flicker of confidence.
Feedback became my lifeline. After my first team meeting, I cornered a colleague and asked, “Be honest, how’d I do?” He said I’d rushed through the agenda, leaving people confused. It stung, but I slowed down next time, and it worked. I even asked my team for input “What’s one thing I could do better?” Their answers (more clarity, fewer tangents) made me sharper. And I started a little ritual: every Friday, I jot down one thing I did well that week. Resolving a scheduling mess. Helping a teammate hit a deadline. Those notes remind me I’m growing, not faking it. If you’re feeling like an imposter, don’t hide, act. You’ll surprise yourself.
Navigate the Leadership Dichotomy: My Tightrope Walk
Here’s where it gets messy: as a manager, I’m pulled in two directions. I’m fighting for my team (more time, better tools) while my boss is breathing down my neck for results. It’s like I’m serving two masters, and early on, I stumbled. I’d bend over backwards for my team, only to miss a target and get an earful upstairs. Then, a mentor dropped a gem that changed everything for me.
Over coffee one day, he leaned in and said, “Management’s like spinning plates or juggling balls. You’ve got a dozen up in the air: your team’s morale, your boss’s deadlines, client or customer demands. You can’t keep them all going forever. The trick is knowing which ones can drop without shattering so you can push the rest forward.” I laughed, picturing myself as a circus act, but as time went on it hit me quite hard. I’d been trying to keep every plate spinning, exhausting myself and still falling short.
She was right, it’s all about choices. Perhaps it’s a tight deadline while a team member is simultaneously pushing for extra training. Of course, we want to say yes to both, but sometimes, you just can’t. Take a moment to reflect: the deadline is glass, fragile, and critical; the training is rubber, and it’ll bounce back later. Get with your team and communicate the reality, “We’ll nail this first, then circle back to the training, I promise.” Now it’s time to hit the deadline and follow through on the training ASAP. Nothing will break, and you’ll move forward stronger.
For me, it starts with clarity, I dig into what my boss needs and break it down with my team: “Here’s the goal, here’s why, how do we get there?” I’m honest about trade-offs too. When budget cuts eliminated overtime, I said, “This stinks, but let’s get creative.” They rallied, we cut overtime hours, and morale stayed strong. My boss saw progress; my team felt heard. You’ve got to be the bridge that aligns your team’s work with the bigger picture, fight for them, and decide which plates can drop. It’s not easy, but it’s how you keep the show running.
Invest in Yourself: My Plan for What’s Next
Managing is exhausting, whether it’s fires to put out or people to support, sometimes it feels like it never ends. I used to think I’d figure out my own “career growth” later. Big mistake. If I don’t keep sharpening my own skills, I’ll stall and when the next opportunity knocks, I won’t be ready. So, I’ve gotten intentional about it.
I block off at least an hour a week to learn something new, maybe a podcast on delegation, maybe a chapter from a leadership book, or maybe even pursuing a new degree or certificate. I’ve also found a mentor, a manager I admire, who lets me pick his brain and brainstorm together. After a tough week, I sometimes grab a notebook and ask myself, “What worked? What bombed?” One time, as I reflected, I realized I’d dodged a hard conversation with a slacking team member. I faced it head-on that next Monday, and we turned it around.
It’s not glamorous, but it’s fuel. I want to be the manager who’s not just surviving but thriving, ready for the next step, whatever it is. You can do this, too: carve out time, find a guide, and reflect. It’s how you stay ahead.
My Takeaway
This gig isn’t easy. Some days, I’m juggling my team’s morale, my boss’s demands, and my own doubts, all before lunch. But servant leadership keeps me grounded, facing imposter syndrome keeps me honest, balancing the dichotomy keeps me sharp, and growing myself keeps me hopeful. I’m still learning, but I’m in it for the long haul.
What’s your story? What’s the toughest part of managing for you or the most rewarding? Drop a comment below or hit me up on LinkedIn. I’d love to swap notes.
Kenneth Doerksen
